30 weeks

30 weeks (almost 31 now) pregnant. Those 7ish weeks are closing in on us quickly. I'm certainly having my moments of "But I just became a SAHM," "How am I going to handle TWO of them?!!", etc etc. Then there's the belly and the endless eating (I totally ate two hotdogs before writing this). I have almost no clothing that fits anymore & my make up is beginning to not match my skin tone. So, yes, if I'm the "nutella face" looking pregnant woman, let me know. (pretty sure if I get any whiter I'll be accepted in to the "Cullen" family)

As I'm getting bigger and those pesky contractions get stronger we search for things to do that aren't too physical these days. Praise the Lord the sun was shining this weekend. Nothing too much more relaxing than sitting by the fire staying warm, & watching the sun go down with Trev after Lexi is in bed. I am so thankful these days. I just cannot get enough of my family. Or my husband. I could not be thankful enough for those late night back rubs through contractions, or him helping with the cloth diaper wash & making dinner. 

Reflection & body image

At the ripe age of 23 I am feeling OLD. I am not sure if it's just because my body is being beaten up by mundane, endless, painful contractions, or if it's because I am chasing around the sweetest 9 month old I know. 

I made the serious mistake of coming across this picture yesterday. I was first runner up Miss Whatcom County 2008. I had near a 6 pack of abs, was tan, had perfectly bleached teeth & highlights were kept up on a regular basis. I had the best boyfriend in the world. He adored my "making myself feel pretty" because he knew it helped me. He, however, liked me regardless (and still does after 8 years of being together). I felt beautiful. I won swimsuit, talent, & overall points with the judges but still ended up in second because they weren't sure I could "commit" due to my intense school schedule.

 Now. NOW...
I am 29.5 weeks pregnant with Kyla. My darling daughter #2. I am white as a ghost, I have circles under my eyes from sleepless nights & my highlights... well, I get those touched up when I can afford to.
Abs? What are those? I haven't seen those since before I got pregnant with Lexi.

I have surpassed the weight I was when I gave birth to Lexi, which puts me weighing in at the most I have in my entire life (with 8 weeks to go, how's that for depressing?). Lately I feel like I'm eating myself into a black hole. 5 days ago I was admitted into labor & delivery for pre-term labor. Contractions 2 minutes apart for over 18 hours. I am thoroughly amazed at what a woman's body can handle! So now I sit, on near bedrest, cuddling my baby girl in our last few weeks of "just us" as I take my pills to keep me from contracting.

This is a picture of me when I was pregnant with Lexi (below). I was exactly 38 weeks pregnant & this is 5am on our way to the hospital. I had only gained a mere 19 pounds & had a super cute tiny baby belly. I also popped right back to my skinny self in no time. I'm not thinking that's as much of a possibility this go around. 

I am larger now than I've ever been. I let my root grow out & don't stay on top of spray tanning. But I am also the happiest I've ever been. I have a husband who loves me very very much, and a precious daughter that I fall more in love with everyday. Lexi, you are going to make a fabulous big sister. Kyla, I cannot wait to meet you, hold you, kiss your face & mother you. 

Children are a blessing. They are a gift. I will give up all body images for this new one: Mom. And I will wear it proud.

Oh yeah... this ^^ is me in my PRE-pregnancy jeans FULL TERM with Lexi. Not happening this time around. Welcome to me not being able to get those suckers up past my thighs, let alone my rear end. HA!

Thank you Lord for showing me what things are truly important in life. For whittling down my selfish ways & forcing me to be grateful & all relying on You and Trevor.

Spring, sunshine, & backyard BBQ's

Ah, finally a sunny weekend here in the pacific northwest! Trev had his first weekend off with the family in months & we decided to make the most of it :)

 Being the overly paranoid mother I am, I not only slathered my daughter in baby SPF, but threw on her jammies and a cute summer hat (that is definitely too small for her now)

 Lexi experiences grass for the first time! This is a downhill slope, so she did, indeed face plant a few times. All in all, I think the grass was a success!

 This past week my baby girl has started crawling on all fours! (as opposed to scooting or "army crawling" around the house) It is quite exciting, and quite exhausting as well.

If this isn't the happiest baby ever I am not sure what is! I'm trying to desperately savor these last moments that involve Lexi being my "only."
I love that I get to write this today. As the pictures from this weekend light me up and it rained once again today.

Pinterest & the "Perfect SAHM" pressures & image

Ah, Pinterest! You have swallowed whole evenings from me when I should be sleeping. Thankfully I've found a couple of keepers!!

 Re-purposing an empty coffee mate container as a snack holder for the girls' diaper bag! This is going to be perfect for road trips! Love that you can see what's in them too!

 Oh Sensory Play!! (more posts to come on this later). Nothing is more satisfying then watching Lexi laugh & giggle while she plays with glowsticks in the bathtub in the dark! So.Much.Fun!!

 Since I've become a full-time SAHM I feel like there's some odd outside pressures and thoughts as to what I should be doing. Baking everything from scratch, a hot meal for the hard working husband every night, perfectly behaved children, & I need to look sexy, skinny & be ready to jump T's bones when he walks through that door! Yeah. NOT.
Like I've said before, I'm learning. I have no problem admitting that. I do, however, feel that so many mothers feel so much outside pressure to achieve all of these things that it ends up hurting relationships & makes them rather work M-F than be home with the kids.

So.. here is my 2nd week as a SAHM. Last night Trev worked so late we didn't have dinner. I ate make shift nachos & watched sappy TLC shows after Lexi went down for the night.
Today, I've done the laundry & attempted to be the perfect SAHM. lol

Home-made Banana Bread! It was delicious! (I would know, being the pregger I am I ate half the loaf) And despite forgetting (darn pregnant mind) the 1 egg the recipe called for the loaf turned out amazing.

 About a month ago while I was still working I decided to make use of yet another pinned item on my Pinterest board. Freezer meals! So I took about 4hrs one morning and made a load of meals! Tonight we're eating savory chicken. Not only does my house smell simply delightful, but I didn't have to barely lift a finger for this hot, home cooked meal :)

Oh yeahhhh. I'll make some mashed potatoes (instant of course; remember, I'm the lazy version of the "Perfect SAHM" and have some corn on the side of this. Mmm Mmm Good!

(More to come on this also, later)- Here I am. Full-blown 28 weeks pregnant with my darling Kyla. Not only do I not fit into any of my "cute bras", but I cannot wear anything but dresses & leggings at this point in my pregnancy. I am at the weight I was when I delivered Lexi & my tummy is certainly larger.
I am working on praying for Kyla daily. Thanking the Lord that he has given me this full, luscious, pregnant body to house her in for 9 months. Body image is a nasty thing. With a mere 9 weeks until C-Section #2 I am trying to focus on the positive, get as prepared as possible, and savor these last moments as having Lexi as my only. My precious 1st daughter.

Easter morning highlights

The Easter bunny was extra good to Lexi for her first Easter!

 I think my heart might burst! I'm so in love with my little family! God is SO good!

 There truly isn't anything more beautiful than a father and his baby girl. Tears. SO. Many. Tears.
PS- Trevor Ryan, you are just as good looking as the day I met you. SO handsome. So in LOVE!

We started the morning off with the earliest church service possible at 8am. Such an amazing message. Cried, laughed, reflected... Lord YOU are Good.
Came home to make bacon, eggs, another pot of coffee & some warm morning biscuits! Then we all sat around and watch Lexi giggle and open up her Easter basket. (Can I give a shout out one more time just to how AWESOME the dollar tree is for Easter basket supplies?!!!!)

Now, I blog away I go though photos because Trevor has gone back to work & Lexi is napping. Perhaps we will visit family later on today, perhaps not. Either way, I am so thankful for my husband, Lexi & our darling Kyla who has been kicking away in my belly all morning! 28 weeks & counting.

Happy Easter to all!

Better than a Hallelujah

Happy "Easter Eve" to all!! Enjoy your bunnies, jelly beans, frilly dressed little ones & egg hunts! But don't forget the reason for Easter...

HE IS RISEN, HE IS RISEN INDEED!! 

AMEN!

I have yet to come across something so cute as a little girl with an Easter Basket :) And this year it gets to be my little girl. Can't wait to give Lexi her love basket in the morning. Filled with jelly beans, sidewalk chalk, glow sticks, a bunny, a large bouncy ball, Jesus books, a coloring book, over-sized crayons, bubbles, & memory game cards (all bought at the dollar store! WooEeee!!).

Can I get a WOOT WOOT for our first Easter Sunday together as a family of 3?!

Foundation

As I thought up a title for this blog, manic, mania, crazy & hyperactive are all that came to mind. I need to make sure that Trevor & I are setting up a firm foundation for our girlies. Eloquence is not my strong suite when it comes to words so bare with me.

I am a 23 year old Mommy to a darling 9 month old daughter; Alexis Renee. She is going to be a big sister right before her first birthday to baby girl #2; Kyla Ann. My crazy blessing #1 was getting pregnant twice in 2 years, giving me Irish Twins just under a year apart. Cannot wait for this adventure!

 Family pictures; Alexis was 4 months old.

 Lexi being the little ball of joy she is at 6 months old

 Oh LOVE... Trevor & I met through church 9 (Yes NINE) years ago. We were friends for a year, dated for 5 years, and now have been married for almost 3 years. This man is my stronghold, encourager, provider & best friend. This is at my high school graduation (thought we were SOOO cool) womp womp... after 3 years of dating.

February 2010 Trevor & I bought our first home! It's a small home with 3 bedrooms & 2 bathrooms. We are working on filling it with love, laughter, & simplicity as we strive to raise our girls the way our good Lord would want us to.