Redeeming Birth, Redeeming Love

I have had the privilege of reading so many birth stories lately.
 

Kyla Ann (1 month old)

Having the gumption to write my own is another story, however. I don't have a pretty story. But, it IS my story.

On October 30, 2010 I woke up feeling ill. . . It was then we discovered I was pregnant with our first baby!! Everything went as planned & we had a pretty uneventful pregnancy until May (middle of 3rd trimester) came around.
I started feeling exceptionally weak & sick. I thought it was just my morning sickness returning, so I blew it off. I started waking in the middle of the night with uncontrollable itching on the palms of my hands and the bottoms of my feet.
One week later I was admitted into labor & delivery due to persistent throwing up, shakes & itching.  I was having steady contractions 2-3 min apart. At 33 weeks pregnant I was terrified for both the baby & myself. This was not what was supposed to be happening.

Right after my C-Section with Kyla

Blood work was done & I was diagnosed with Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy. Long story short, my bile acids were seeping into my blood stream & making baby toxic as well as making me quite ill. The doctors were able to stop the labor at 33 weeks and I was put on rest until 37 weeks when the doctors would induce me to avoid further complications & risk to my baby.

I'm pretty sure I couldn't have been happier at this moment

28 hours into labor with Alexis-Finally dilating. Right before epidural

 The evening of June 24 rolled around & I was admitted to the hospital for an induction. I was SO excited to meet this baby!!
Cervidil was given to soften the cervix to make dilation possible. We were told to get some sleep while it worked (which was impossible... we were MUCH too excited!)
Contractions began and started getting closer together. We finally came to a stand-still around 4cm dilated so pitocin was started. Holy hell contractions went from bearable to "I want an out of body experience" within minutes. I was 28hrs into labor since having steady, working contractions & we all consented that an epidural was the smartest decision so I could relax and rest.
Trevor & I both slept for a couple of hours and I woke with a pressure that was unreal & the need to throw up. I puked, called for the nurse, & was told I was fully dilated-It was time to push.
I pushed for 4hrs. Baby girl got so far we could touch her head & feel her hair. We were SO close to meeting her.
The doctors told me she was jammed behind my pubic bone; my hips weren't flexing to let her through. We tried different positions and more and more pushing, but nothing progressed.
Suddenly the monitor started freaking out-
After being told the baby's heart rate stopped for too long & was becoming erratic I was being wheeled into the operating room.
I remember getting a bolus in my epidural that shot the worst pain of my life through my back, neck & head. Instant migraine & more throwing up. I.Was.Terrified.
Even numb, I could feel my body being wrenched back & forth. A nurse gasped as my blood sprayed the operating team, including my anesthesiologist who was behind the curtain by my face.
The baby was stuck so hard they had to use reverse suction to get her out. The machine slipped off her head twice, cutting her head & spraying my blood everywhere.
She was OUT!!
My body started shaking so hard & losing blood quickly. I was in shock. Last thing I remember was Trevor holding my hand tightly & everything.went.black.

In recovery being monitored after my C-Section with Alexis

I woke up in recovery surrounded by some fabulous nurses, my husband, and a darling little bundle. Little did I know it had been 4hrs since my daughter was born. Trevor and Alexis were taken out of the operating room as I was put completely out so the doctors could sew me up and control the bleeding. We were in the hospital for 8 days due to Alexis being severely jaundiced. I, however, was feeling MUCH better. Weaker than I had expected, but much better. I didn't care. We got our baby girl, she was here safe and sound, and my cholestasis was gone.  Alexis Renee was born June 27, 2011.

Alexis Renee (1 month old)

October 17, 2011 (my 23rd birthday, woot woot!) I got a big fat positive... I was pregnant AGAIN. 

This pregnancy started off shaky with a lot of bleeding in the beginning & many MANY graphic nightmares from my previous labor & delivery, but all was well. I met and prayed with many people to deal with the PTSD from my previous birth.   

Around 28/29weeks the pre-term labor started. I was in and out of the hospital more times than I'd like to remember. My cholestasis was back. 

I was a wreck. Thinking that I was going to repeat what happened last June was terrifying. We decided on a scheduled C-Section this time around.

My C-Section date came & I was feeling pretty good. Alexis was at home with my older sister & Trevor and I headed to the hospital in good spirits. 

Nurses came in and prepped me, started my IV, & I got my consult with my anesthesiologist. It was TIME! We all started walking back to the operating room. Trevor had to wait outside until I had my spinal & was fully prepped, draped & ready to go. He kissed me on the forehead & told me it was going to be ok. I lost it.

I was trembling and the tears were flowing as I walked (what seemed for miles) alone with the nurse down the hallway to the ice cold operating room.  

My spinal was given and I was laid back down and draped. I almost immediately started throwing up (nerves, spinal... it ALL had to do with it). As soon as Trevor met my side I was calm. We chatted about our daughter off and on.

A big surge of pressure on my abdomen and Kyla Ann came out screaming! When I saw her, heard her, touched her... such an intense rush of emotions flooded through me. She came out with the best apgar score a baby can so I got to hold her & kiss her the entire time they were sewing me up. We went into recovery together where I breastfed her & laughed with Trev. I did it. It was a PERFECT delivery for me! It was redeeming, it was beautiful. I had two healthy baby girls.

Kyla Ann was born June 27, 2012. 

I have 2 girls born exactly, to the day, one year apart. My "Irish Twins."

I praise the Lord for a happy, healthy family of FOUR!!

We couldn't be happier. I praise God daily for our story. And I am so thankful that I can finally find the time & emotion to write it all out.